I'm Not Even Watching It This Season (Why Do I Feel Like I Am!?)

So The Bachelor is back (squeeeee?)

I only know this because people won't shut up about it.  Fun fact: Castle is back, NCIS is back and Law and Order: SVU is back.  You know why you may not have known this?  Because people won't shut up about The Bachelor.

Thursday Thoughts: A Bullet List of Excitement

I'm the type of "blogger" who randomly expounds upon topics that pop into my head at any given moment.  I've put "blogger" in quotes much like I used to put running in quotes.  This is because I believe that doing something periodically does not make you a person who does that thing.  For example, sometimes I paint; I am NOT a painter.  Anyway.  Lately I've been lacking when it comes to discussion topics.  Long gone are the days of dating blogs, the Bachelor live-blogs (you're welcome, J) and rumination on defining myself.  I'm finding myself stuck, for lack of a better term and mostly because I just mentioned painting, with an empty canvas.  I decided instead to list the things that are coming up shortly for which I am excited.

The End of a Chapter - The Bachelor Blog Ends...as Does One Girls' Hopes and Dreams

Before anything else happens, we just ordered Chinese food... ONLINE.  Best idea ever!  Now lets start the shitshow.

Wide-Eyed and Bitchy, and Then There Were Two: Bachelor Live-Blog

Happy Week-Beginning.  First I'd like to thank the 70ish people who read this blog weekly to see what kind of crap I decide to bitch about related to the worst show in existence.

Yorkies, Basic Training and Bellbottoms, OH MY! - Bachelor Live-Blog

Gizmo passed out after drinking every time
someone cries, says they're crazy
about "___" or has a connection**

Welcome to this week's installment of frying brain cells via ABCs horrific programming.  Leah and I are chugging beers with Gizmo and prepared to give you the latest facetious and negative take on this weeks shit-show.

Bachelor Blog - The end of the Reign of Tierra[r]

**Editor's note: I didn't edit this shit at all... enjoy**

Tonight we're drinking Moscato.  Leah, Gizmo, Bella and myself...kind of.  Bella and Gizmo are not drinking.

Because we're stupid moronic girls, we don't really remember our drinking game, but we're going to drink for the hell of it.  I feel like that's always a good call.

Whorenation part 2: The Debbie Episode

So let's get drunk.  You know the rules.  You know when to drink.  Play along.
We added a new rule: Care of Tracy Treetop: Every time someone says wife or husband, you drink.

What's the name of the game? BACHELOR
Why do we play it? TO GET DRUNK

**Disclaimer: to any Canadian readers or friends of readers or family members, I'm sorry for the upcoming absolutely negative conversation related to the Country of Canada... I'm sure you know I'm kidding^**

Week 4 of Whorelicious Wenches - Part 1: The Leah Episode

Good Evening fellow brain cell haters.  I assume we all hate our brain cells to either choose to watch this steaming pile of cow dung (to quote Liar, Liar) OR to choose to drink so heavily because of it.  For those of you who follow my life outside of this blog (regularly much more boring than I claim it to be) you know I've had a hell of a couple days.  Why does this matter to you?  It matters because I didn't watch and live-blog Monday's (2/4) episode.  Stop hyperventilating long enough to read that Leah has gone above and beyond the call of duty and live-blogged it for me.  Enjoy.  Thanks, Leah!

The Slut-Brigade: The Bachelor Live-Blog, Ep 4

Reasons to drink today:
1) Someone does or does not have a connection or chemistry
2) Someone is or is not there for the right reasons
3) Someone cries
4) You feel really bad about yourself for watching this shit
(you weren't wondering, but just in case, I drank most for reason 4)

Today's guests: Leah (no Bella), Favor and Sparxxx.

The Bachelor - Episode 3, Season "Waste of Time"

Leah and Bella

Let’s set this weeks scene:  Sweet Red Wine (and Little Penguin Chardonnay if needed) and I am joined by my lovely friend Leah who brought her dog Bella to join Gizmo and I on this blogging experience.

The Bachelor "Live"-Blog...2 Days Later

In case you don't remember, the following reasons will cause me to drink:
(1) Someone says that someone does or does not have a connection.
(2) Someone says that someone is or is not there for the right reasons.
(3) I fucking feel like it.