You guys... This isn't going to work...

So I signed up for AdSense and I got an email letting me know that they've checked my blog and they decided that I can have it.  This is great except that they sent me a whole list of terms and conditions.  Apparently I can't talk about adult content or anything unsuitable for children and I can't swear.  This clearly does not go well with the theme of my blog.  Apparently they need to check my blog periodically and look further into it as time goes on to make sure that I am with in all of the terms and conditions in order to have Adsense.  For those of you playing along at home what AdSense does is pay me for anyone who clicks on an ad from my blog but I can't suggest that people click it.

Reevaluating Street Walking and Psychological Health

Reevaluation.  n. The act of judging or determining the value or significance of an item.  We all reevaluate things in our lives.  If you don't, you should.  This morning alone I reevaluated the time for which my alarm was set by gracefully pounding the snooze button until it broke.  That's not an exaggeration, by the way... the fucker is stuck in the down position, permanently snoozing my life for 9 minutes at a time.  I'm choosing to not look at that as a metaphor.  While we all reevaluate things throughout our lives, I find that the most common times we do it knowingly is around life events: birthdays, holidays, impending doom nuptials, babies coming into the world, etc.  Often times these intrinsic times make us question what we've done up to this point and what we want to do from here forward.  Depending on what you take out of it, it can cause frustration, sadness, or excitement.  I've done a good amount of reevaluating over the last 2 months (which is my excuse for not writing anything lately, but is complete bullshit) and thought that maybe you would be interested in some of the things I've taken stock of and/or changed.

Wide-Eyed and Bitchy, and Then There Were Two: Bachelor Live-Blog

Happy Week-Beginning.  First I'd like to thank the 70ish people who read this blog weekly to see what kind of crap I decide to bitch about related to the worst show in existence.

Bachelor Blog - The end of the Reign of Tierra[r]

**Editor's note: I didn't edit this shit at all... enjoy**

Tonight we're drinking Moscato.  Leah, Gizmo, Bella and myself...kind of.  Bella and Gizmo are not drinking.

Because we're stupid moronic girls, we don't really remember our drinking game, but we're going to drink for the hell of it.  I feel like that's always a good call.

Week 4 of Whorelicious Wenches - Part 1: The Leah Episode

Good Evening fellow brain cell haters.  I assume we all hate our brain cells to either choose to watch this steaming pile of cow dung (to quote Liar, Liar) OR to choose to drink so heavily because of it.  For those of you who follow my life outside of this blog (regularly much more boring than I claim it to be) you know I've had a hell of a couple days.  Why does this matter to you?  It matters because I didn't watch and live-blog Monday's (2/4) episode.  Stop hyperventilating long enough to read that Leah has gone above and beyond the call of duty and live-blogged it for me.  Enjoy.  Thanks, Leah!

Top Ten Thoughts of Today

10. If you really like baseball, you don't have to hate a rival team...unless your team is playing said rival team at the time.
9. The word "poo" is funny. It's funnier than "poop" or "shit." It's just funny. Every time I hear or say it, I giggle. Every time.
8. When Michael Jackson died and every station played a tribute for a week or so, I don't think I ever heard "Scream." This bothers me.
7. If you're sitting in mixed company sharing info about how much money you allegedly make selling weed, you should be prepared to be a dead beat loser your whole life; and possibly arrested.
6. Trains are a wonderful invention. Next time you are on a train that isn't super crowded with a friend, take a minute to enjoy the experience.
5. If I had a dollar for every time I was broken up with...I'd have a dollar. If I had a dollar for every time I fell out of touch with someone....I'd be rich. I think I'd rather be poor and hold on to my one dollar.
4. Even though I can list things I'd like to change about my personality or inside self, I can't find justification in changing.
3. I miss regular television. I am very excited for the next couple of weeks when all my shows come back.
2. I am a huge fan of not wearing pants. I am not a fan of pants. I think a perfectly good evening is dancing around in a Tshirt and underwear. Note: do not come peeping through my window...I will have you arrested.
1. What if all this time I was spending traveling down windy and twisty roads got me nowhere and the right path for me was across the street the whole time, but I never thought to look?