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Thursday, July 25, 2013

Laughing at the "Peace Rap" and Crying to Iconapop

Emotions.  We all have them.  Sometimes they're good and sometimes they are much less good.  Some people would claim that having emotions is a big part of what makes us unique from other mammals.  We not only interpret the world around us, but we also respond to those interpretations with a feeling that we create within ourselves.  Feelings are ours and ours alone... 
Often times people feel the same emotions towards the same things.  This usually happens during tragedies.  So what happens when you don't feel emotions in the widely accepted way?  What if you laugh at funerals?  What if you get angry and frustrated when you're faced with a new and exciting prospect?  Or, if you're like me, what if you have NO IDEA what the hell you feel?  I've explained before (in this blog even, if I remember correctly) that I refer to my emotions as a big gaseous ball somewhere inside of me.  Sometimes, a random external event will cause this ball to expand and grow until something needs to come out.  What often comes out is frustration.  Mostly because I feel all this something and I can't explain it to anyone - least of all myself - and that's extremely frustrating.  I liken it to being a baby and trying to tell your parents that your bottle makes you feel icky, but not yet having the words to do so.  At some rare and special moments in my life, the expanding "feelings ball" explodes and I cry.  Uncontrollably.  Sometimes for days.  Then it's gone.

Yesterday I felt.  I do not know why, but I did.  I decided that I'd try to be proactive (and try to skip the breakouts...) so I got a carton of sugar free ice cream, a bottle of wine and a Nicholas Sparks movie... I figured maybe if I got a good cry in I could shrink down the feelings ball to a normal size before it got out of control.

Then I went bowling instead.  So fair warning, there's a emotional shit-storm coming in the near future...

...probably.

End.

2 comments:

  1. Whilst reading this, I bit my cheek. Really fucking hard! Now, I feel discomfort and pain. Emotionally, I am upset at myself. Thanks...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Also, the font is making my eyes bleed again. This, in turn, is making my upset emotion turn from myself towards you. Please make reading your profound word not make me look like a True Blood vampire having a gaseous ball explosion. Toodles!

    ReplyDelete

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