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Monday, October 7, 2013

Aquatic Life Series: Webster and Webster 2.0 (or How PetsMart Stands Behind Their Products)

My sophomore year of college, I was feeling a little bit of empty-nesters syndrome.  My dog (Patches) was at home with my parents and I was feeling quite lonely.  Never mind that I was living in an apartment with 3 of my friends... I felt lonely.  I needed to "parent" something, which in itself is kind of hilarious because I'm not the parenting type.  If you'll recall a couple of blog posts back, I told you the story of how I blew up a frog - Schroeder.  Seeing as how well my stint with Schroeder went, I decided getting another African Dwarf Frog was the answer.

So I got Webster.  Some $2 for the frog, $25ish for the tank (much smaller than Schroeder's,) $15 for the rocks and things that went inside his home and I had a new pet!  Webster - a name suggestion from Allie from back when I blew up Schroeder - was super active and a lot of fun to watch and "play" with.  He was a FAST swimmer and would eat voraciously every time I fed him.  I enjoyed him a lot.

For about 9 days.  On the ninth day in the morning I woke up and Webster was upside down on the bottom of the tank.  In my previous experiences with ADF's, I'd never seen one on the bottom of the tank, so I took to tapping on the side really HARD to try to get him to "awaken."  He did not.  Webster had clearly ceased living.  Not only was I sad to the extent you can be after a frog dies 9 days after acquiring it, but I was also upset with the quality of the "product" that I had purchased.  So I did what any normal person does when they dislike a product.  I returned Webster.  I scooped Webster up with my little net and put him in a plastic baggie.  I put the plastic baggie in another baggie and then in a little box.  Then I went directly to the aquatic section of PetsMart with my receipt and my dead Webster.  Take a moment to think about how you would react if you were this poor kid at PetsMart as you recognize what is going on.  It took about 5 seconds before he grabbed a manager who told me to pick a new frog and it'd be mine.  No charge.  No questions.  What questions could they have asked anyway: "Are you aware of how insane this exchange makes you?"

About 20 minutes later I was home and slowly acclimating Webster 2.0 (creative name, right?!  Just wait til the next aquatic life series post) to his new home.  He had an exciting life.  I had him for almost 2 years.  He was awesome.  Very active and fun.  He used to go home to Chicago with me regularly in his little travel container.  Sometimes when I was scooping him in the net he'd try to jump out and hop around the floor.  Once I accidentally tapped him with the net and he froze in shock and laid on the bottom of the tank.  A few minutes later he snapped back to life - no big deal.  I don't have any fun stories about Webster 2.0 except that he is the product of a bat-shit crazy girl who put her dead frog in a baggie and returned him for a clean exchange at the local PetsMart.


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