Today is a shitty day. Here is why ...
1) It's Thursday. Since I do not play kickball on Thursdays, this means my evening is pretty tame. Blah.
2) A person who I do not dislike at all is moving away today.
3) Today is my dead dog's birthday.
1) This doesn't require further explanation.
2) I have friends. I'm not particularly sad to lose a friend. I do not, however, feel like I was done hanging out with this one...and I don't know that we're close enough to stay friends after the move. Therefore, I'm sad because endings are sad. Why don't more movies end sad? Not like a huge depressing end, just...end. Endings are sad, but they're real. By the way, this is the reason why I was frustrated with the ending of Silver Linings Playbook... but I digress...
3) Patches was my first dog. He was (and remains) the best dog ever. My apologies to anyone who loves their dog and also to Gizmo - my current dog. Patches was the first pet my parents allowed that did not live in a bowl of water. We had him all 12 years of his life. He was MINE. He was my responsibility and I took it very seriously. You can confirm this with my parents if you're so inclined. I did everything except pay for his doctor bills. In 2005 he started to get sick a lot. He had a few tumors removed and whatnot. In January 2006, we had a test done to find out he had pancreatic cancer and the only thing we could do was put him down so he wouldn't be frustrated, in pain and unhappy. It was horrible. It was horrible because I was losing my friend and it was horrible because he was acting like a puppy the entire time leading up to finding this out. It's like he wanted us to remember him the way he was before he got sick...if it's possible for a dog to have that kind of developed thought process. So I repeat: HORRIBLE...go watch Marley & Me if you want to feel 1/3 of the emotion that people feel when this comes up in their lives. Actually, read it...it's exponentially more powerful on paper. Anyway, we buried him in a pet cemetery near my childhood home. Whenever my family is in town, we stop by and see him. We're not crazy people...we know he isn't some ghost that we go to chat with...we just go. Sometimes we reminisce, sometimes we say nothing, sometimes we cry. You may have had to know Patches to understand that this is totally not crazy in any way... he was special; Though I assume all pet owners feel this way about their pets...especially their first pet. I made a promise to him the last day I got to be with him (1/4/2006) that I would always celebrate his birthday with him like I used to. When he was alive I'd bring him ice cream with treats in it and put a hat on him, go for long walks, go to the park and play... After he died, when I was still in the Chicago area, I used to bring myself a lunch and go have a picnic in the cemetery with Patches. Sometimes reminiscing, sometimes saying nothing, sometimes crying. Well, today is his birthday and he is the Chicago area while I am here in Florida. Every year I'm not there with him on his birthday, I feel like I'm breaking a promise. I know that he doesn't know or care, but I do. I made that promise over 7 years ago - he'd be 19 today. I still miss him. A ton. I'm sorry, Patches. Happy Birthday!
In order to bring this blog post a little full circle, allow me to point out the silver lining (see what I did there? No? Okay...) on the cloud that is Thursday, August 1st, 2013: Tomorrow will be exceptional. I can't imagine a better Friday night than happy hour, date night with my bff, vino, and painting with a super fun group of girls. So now I just have to get through the next 30ish hours...