Tuesday, February 11, 2014


I've moved to the Word Press Platform.

I am keeping this blog active, however, in case I decide I hate it.

Then I'll be back.



Monday, February 10, 2014

I'm on Episode 3 of the Tourgasm DVD and here's why

What do a pink bra, Dane Cook and I have in common?
We are immortalized on a DVD together.  That's what.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

That time I almost got married in the Keys

Britney Spears did it.  Ross and Rachel on Friends did it.  So why not me?
Hello Mr. Rachel!
A few Junes back, my previous roommate (Amanda) and the roommate before her (Katy) and I went to the keys for a girls vacation.  Vagcation, if you will.  Friday after work we hopped on the road to make the four hour drive - which took about 6 hours - to Key West.

Monday, February 3, 2014

How To Not Be an Effective Orientation Leader - The Story of How I Failed at Being Responsible

My Sophomore year of college I signed up to be an orientation leader.  This meant that I was on campus a week or two early, received my very own group of 10 little kids* to show around the campus and help them feel a little bit more at home before the start of classes.
The "Kids" in this situation were ALL older than me due to my skipping kindergarten and being doomed to always being younger than the people in my grade in school...plus, a June birthday...
In a weird turn of events I was assigned a group of kids from Wiley dorm - an all boys dorm.  So I got 10 boys to follow me around like puppies; like a very defiant group of puppies being let out of their cages for the very first time.
This was the dorm.  I don't even know if this is still there.
I certainly hope this has been updated since 2003.
Not the prettiest thing about my college campus.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

How to Win Respect and Beat the Police With a Well Designed Cover Story

One summer in college, I was still on campus (or came back to campus...this I do not recall with great certainty) and wanted to go out with Natalie.

This seems normal enough, except that I turned 21 after I graduated college.  For all four of my collegiate years I was passing myself off as my sister.  My sister who is 12 years older than me.  For those of you bad at math, that means at 17 years old, I was attempting to pass myself off as a year shy of 30.  Oh, also, my sister is 4 inches taller than me.  Aside from that, we do look eerily similar.  And she looks crazy young.
This is from 2013, but imagine it wasn't much
different about 8 or 9 years ago

Monday, January 27, 2014

Water, Sand, Jell-o and Mud - That's What My First Weekend of College Was Made Of

If you're not one of the 6 close friends I had in high school, you [most likely] referred to me as the quiet girl who was on crutches for graduation.  The thing is, I've never been the quiet girl.  So in college, I shed that set of wolfs clothing I was unaware I was donning.

Prior to getting dropped at the front doorway of a gorgeous ancient dormitory at the ripe age of 17, I had internet stalked myself a friend and ally for when I finished lofting my twin bed and wanted to eat or find trouble to get into.  Brian and I met up, hung out and ultimately became college besties quite quickly.  Case in point, six semesters later I lived across the street in a place that allowed me to peer in his window without having the leave the coziness of my room and one semester after that I moved in with his friends.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Chuck Norris Broke Me - Or How I Tore My Quad in the Dumbest Way Possible

Summer of 2008 I had the most epic injury of my life (up to that point).  I was taking a mixed martial arts class taught by none other than Chuck Norris.  I had become enthralled with the idea of fighting and protecting myself simultaneously.  I had taken a few classes and gotten pretty cavalier about my abilities.
This is what I THOUGHT I looked like - Bad ass, right?!

What I probably ACTUALLY looked like - less bad ass... :(
At some point we were given chances to spar with each other and one time with The Man Whose Tears Cure Cancer himself.  Things were going fine until I decided to try his signature round house kick...which I did and executed beautifully.  The thing is, Chuck Norris's body is also made out of steel so in the process of executing my amazing skills, I tore one of my quad muscles almost entirely in half.

Lethal Quad Killing Machine

Monday, January 20, 2014

How I Met *MY* Mother (A True Tale of Love and Luck)

In November of 2009 I was kicked out of my house.  Abandoned.  Left to fend for myself.  I had spent some time with my previous roommates and I wasn't expecting to have to figure it out.  I wasn't even aware there were any problems in the house.  I thought everything was going along fine.  Was it ideal and perfect?  No.  But it worked... or so I thought.

So there I was.  Me and my thing.  Outside.  I had no where to go.  No one to go to.  No where to sit down.  So I did what anyone would do - I began walking around aimlessly trying to think of a plan.  A goal.  A way out of this mess of homelessness.  When you live somewhere for 3 years, you never create an alternate plan for when everything falls through.  Why would you?

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Tutorial: How To Not Get Kidnapped (Preparing for a Date)

Getting ready for anything can be a chore.  I tend to be the kind of girl who rolls out of bed having showered the night before, throw on the first set of clothes I see in my closet and go about my morning.  When it comes to getting ready to go out, I'm a change my shirt put on deodorant and perfume maybe some mascara and nicer shoes girl.  It's not that I'm lazy, per se, but I am a firm believer that this is what I look like, world! is an acceptable way to live my life.

Don't get me wrong, I can do it up right.  I've attended my fair share of weddings and charity galas to know how to buy and wear a dress/gown and do my hair and make up the "right" way.  I just don't feel like I should look like that every day.

Anyway, I thought it'd be fun to share my planned steps for getting ready for a date (one that I may or may not have Thursday evening.)  Read on...

Monday, January 13, 2014

Marriage and Televisions (That's What My Weekend Was Made Of)

I don't normally do "My Weekend in Review" for you, but this blog is going to be the exception.

However I'm going to only share the most highlight-y of highlights.  You will not read about the soup I had or the beer I drank or even the live band I saw.  You will not be enthralled in the story of how a book almost made me cry at work.  Instead, I will share with you the only two things you need to know about my "weekend" in quotes because I'm including Monday morning.

Blog Archive