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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Top 10 Reasons Dinosaurs Are Awesome

Oh, HEY follower!  How are you?  It's been SO long.  How long?  Long.

So you probably already know this - because I'm no good at keeping my super obsessions to myself - but I LOVE dinosaurs.  There are a billion reasons why.  Really a billion.  I am going to list them for you.  Not all billion...but a few.  Maybe 10.  I'm including pictures - thanks to my friends for supplying some of the pictures.  For this, you are welcome.

Without further ado, the reasons why Debbie loves dinos!

10. They aren't around anymore.  This wouldn't make dinosaurs awesome on that fact alone, but they aren't around because they were wiped out by an asteroid.  That means they were so bad ass that the universe was intimidated and wanted to end their reign of power.  I imagine that prior to the asteroid, dinosaurs hung out and looked generally happy.  See photo.

9. Dinosaurs are musical geniuses.  Don't believe me?  Well (a) you're an idiot and (b) it's science.  They make awesome sounds to communicate with each other.  It was so much more basic and, not to mention, beautiful.  Watch Jurassic Park, ignore the stupid dialogue, and enjoy the music.
(Don't act like you're not impressed!)

8. Dinosaurs make everyone cooler.  If a hunchback who speaks only in palindromes walks down the street no one notices.  Ok, well people notice, but only because he is fucking weird, or a closet genius...the world may never know.  Now, have him walk a pet stegosaurus down the street with him?  Now he's awesome.
(This is a picture of me and Gizmo as dinosaurs)

7. Dinosaurs are colorful.  I'm sure they were all G. D. racists, but there are SO many dinosaur colors.  SO many.  Some were green, grey, red, purple, blue, colors I've never heard of before...and we may never know the spectrum of colors because some asshole asteroid blew them all to smithereens before I got a chance to see for myself.  Here is scientific proof of a pink pterodactyl who happened to land and smush my friends cartoon vehicle.  Her insurance company hates her now.  Fucking mayhem.

6. Dinosaurs - or really just Tyrannosaurus Rex's - have short arms.  That's possibly the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. Want to be amused for a while?  Hit up and you're welcome.  Anyway.  Whenever I'm sad, I google T-Rex t-shirts.  I currently have a shopping cart FULL of funny shirt with T-Rexes on them.  But this gem (albeit, grammatically incorrect) makes me smile all the time.

5. Dinosaurs are unitaskers.  If you don't know this term, you don't watch enough Good Eats/Alton Brown on the Food Network.  A unitasker is one item that does multiple things.  Dinosaurs are unitaskers.  They can be your friend, they can be your cuddle buddy; they can be your vehicle to get from (A) to (B).  Most importantly, dinosaurs can capture your imagination and aid you in getting through a surprisingly boring meeting - much like this one did for Scott.

4. Dinosaurs make all Microsoft Paint pictures better.  Why you might ask?  Because they are THE focal point in every picture.  It doesn't matter what the scenery is.  It could be a water park, outer space (why do we say outer space anyway?  What IS inner space???) OR an awesome rock/meadow/field/scenescape.  Like THIS ONE:

3. Two Words: TREE STARS!!!!!

2. They allow children's imaginations to grow.  I once wrote a book (in 3rd grade...not recently) about dinosaurs.  It was called "Dinosaurs That Lived a Long Time Ago."  I was wildly incorrect in my facts and statistics about said dinosaurs, but I drew amazing pictures of those dinosaurs.  They ALL looked EXACTLY the same.  Apparently the Allosaur is HUGE and about 6 times bigger than a T-Rex.  This is complete bullshit, but it is one of the funniest stories I've ever read...and I wrote it...

1. Dinosaurs would play sports if they were alive today.  How do I know?  I drew a picture about it.

Alright, reader.  I will come up with more introspective blogs soon...but this is the best I got for now.


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